Answer
You don’t even clearly know that you are the soul—then what are you trying to understand? First you have to firmly understand: “I am not this body; I am a spiritual person.” Only from that foundation can anything deeper be understood.
All of Krishna’s pastimes are divya—completely transcendental. Krishna is not a material person, His body is not material, and His līlās are not material. So unless you understand your own identity—that you are also spiritual in quality (though not equal in quantity), not this body—you cannot properly understand His pastimes.
Right now, your identification is limited to this body and its extensions—family, society, etc. But this bodily identity is only a small covering over your real spiritual existence. Until you begin to see that clearly, trying to understand intimate pastimes—like those of Krishna and the gopīs—will only lead to misunderstanding. It may appear attractive to the material mind, but without proper understanding of Krishna and the gopīs, it becomes imagination.
If you want to understand any interaction between A and B, first you must understand who A is and who B is. Similarly, first tattva (truth) must be understood, then rasa (spiritual emotion) can be appreciated. Without realization of truth, rasa becomes distorted.
Realization means coming out of māyā and becoming situated in truth. Only then can one come under the influence of Yogamāyā, which reveals Krishna’s pastimes. These things cannot be generated by mental speculation. Just like if you fall into the ocean, you automatically experience its water—you cannot manufacture that experience outside. Similarly, to experience Krishna’s love, you have to be immersed in that reality by mercy.
That mercy especially comes through Radha. Without Her mercy, one cannot truly approach Krishna. The holy name itself reflects this—“Hare Krishna” invokes that divine energy. Without that grace, Krishna remains inaccessible in His intimate aspects.
We are specially given this opportunity, but we must qualify ourselves step by step—by following the ācāryas, cleansing the heart, pleasing the spiritual master, and becoming free from self-centeredness. This means giving up the mentality of taking “commission” for ourselves—whether for the senses, the mind, intelligence, or ego. Instead, we cultivate a surrendered attitude.
A devotee understands: “I am not independent. Everything is given by Krishna.” Even when honoring prasādam, the mood is not enjoyment but service—“Krishna is so kind that He has given this to help me control my senses.” Whether it is materially tasty or not, it is accepted as mercy.
As A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada explained, a devotee does not judge experiences as good or bad materially. Everything is seen as Krishna’s arrangement for spiritual growth.
So we should not prematurely jump into higher topics. First, realize and live the truth—that “I am not this body.” To live that truth means to reduce lust, desire for recognition, and ego-centered thinking. That is the real challenge.
There are two challenges in spiritual life: one is external—serving and preaching; the other is internal—purifying our own consciousness. Our goal is only one: to attain Krishna. If we allow other desires to remain, we may achieve them, but that will only delay our progress.
Material desires are endless—they can keep us rotating for many lifetimes. Only Krishna can fully satisfy the heart. So we should become serious about inner purification. Reading the books of A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada helps us see the standard and recognize where we stand, and inspires us to rise higher.
At the same time, there is a danger—without proper understanding, one may imagine Krishna’s pastimes materially and commit offenses. These are very high subjects. They are actually simple, but they require a purified consciousness—freedom from the three modes of material nature.
And what does that mean? It means freedom from self-centeredness. The three modes sustain different forms of self-centered desire. By constant engagement in Krishna consciousness—activities centered on Krishna, not on oneself—these modes are gradually transcended.
Ultimately, only pure devotional service can remove these coverings. Step by step, by sincere practice and mercy, one becomes qualified to truly understand and experience Krishna’s reality.
